Good News for Germaphobes

I recently read that it is perfectly acceptable etiquette for a man or a woman to ask someone out for a date over the internet. As a matter of fact, according to a friend of mine you can have the whole date online. He told me he recently had a torrid affair via computer. The sex, he said, was tremendous. I still can’t get that disturbing image of him feverishly typing with one hand out of my mind- yuck!

Anyway, he said she was beautiful; young, blond, blue eyed with a dynamite body. She even posted nude pictures of herself online. Now, my friend is in his sixties- paunchy and balding. So I said to him, “why would this young beautiful woman be interested in you?” “Well,” he said, “I posted nude pictures of myself online, also. Of course I used another guy’s picture… some thirty year old- well built and well hung from a porn magazine”

(“I wonder what kind of porn magazines he is reading.”) “Are you sure she didn’t do the same thing?”… “I mean, what if that was an old picture she posted? What if she’s overweight and in her sixties? Oh my G-d, what if that is not her, either? What if she is a he… a balding paunchy guy in his mid-sixties?” We both said “yuck” at the same time!

Not to go off-track, it seems to me that the internet is perfect for germaphobes. You can have a complete relationship online. You can even create a child by donating either sperm or eggs, depending on your gender. You can get married or create a custody contract without ever being in the same room. Of course, you could still do it the old fashioned way. I myself am a germaphobe, but I have a very healthy physical relationship with my wife. Of course, I have the woman constantly checked out – you know - medically. But, I can see why some germaphobes might consider the internet a good option.