I’m frightened of Doctors Talk Radio. My wife seems to always have this station playing in her car when I get in. They discuss symptoms of serious diseases, possible treatments, side effects of medication, etc. Last week alone I came down with three different diseases. I heard one doctor describing symptoms of brain tumors, another one was going on about diverticulitis and a third was diagnosing the often undiagnosed ailment Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. These radio shows begat three different visits to my primary doctor. This man is paying for his eldest daughter’s wedding with my co-pays- which by the way, have doubled since the so-called Affordable Care Act was enacted. I’m convinced the word affordable is an inside joke between the president and the medical insurance industry whose lobbyists coincidentally wrote the bill.
Other things to avoid are pharmaceutical commercials. Have you ever listened to those disclaimers? Virgilia is a G-d send for people with allergies. But, it’s not for everyone. See a physician if you develop hives, watery eyes, blue tongue, anal leakage or the passing of gas in elevators. Pains from the chest that go into the arm should be reported immediately as this can lead to sudden death.
Man, I take two or three of those medications. Now every morning before I take them I cross myself religiously… and I’m not even Catholic. But the scariest commercial and it should be avoided at all costs, is one that I saw late last night when I couldn’t sleep (did I mention I have insomnia?) This guy with a plaid shirt and a cowboy hat comes on. He smiles and puts his foot up on a stool and says “Hi, my name is Bob, and let me tell you, these here catheters are way more comfortable than those other ones I was using. Send money to this address and get a year’s supply. Believe you me, you’ll notice the difference.
I don’t know what scared me more. That this guy was smiling as he talked about catheters or that they are making commercials about them. And if they are making commercials about them, that must mean that millions of people are using them. Is there something that I don’t know? What are they using these things for outside of hospitals? Is this the future? Scary stuff!